Small Talk. It’s a Big Deal!
British Small talk can be a tricky skill for second-language English speakers to master – especially if the concept is absent in your first language.
However daft it first seems, small talk is an art.
Like many arts, some excel at it almost naturally – and others are only dimly aware of its parameters.
Without learning the rules or practising them, you’re going to be pretty dismal at it.
However, if you are doing business with UK English speakers, it is a skill you need to master.
UK business thrives on small talk!
Read this blog for 5 funny small talk tips, to help you speak Englsih in the UK.
‘I Don’t do Small Talk!’
Have you ever thought this?
Many English learners I meet avoid small talk – they feel lost within it or bored by it.
Others actively hate it.
If you are the kind of person who tells the whole bus queue about your mother’s hip operation, it can seem empty of purpose.
Even worse, many non-native English learners find this aspect of our culture insincere.
They announce that it’s a cultural compromise that they are not willing to make.
“I don’t do small talk“, they say (then wonder why they don’t get invited to parties).
For international business-to-business (B2B) or business-to-customer (B2C) agents, deciding to ignore improving your small talk skills is not an option.
Your ability to trade in the UK depends on it.
Learn Small Talk in Real-Life Contexts (My Serious Tip)
The best way to improve quickly is to practice with speakers from the culture you are going to be dealing with (this is one of the few times that a teacher’s region/cultural origins matter).
Small talk is a feature of British culture. Americans don’t tend to use it and can be much more direct.
Scotland is full of small talk – Perthshire was recently voted the friendliest place in the world by Tripadvisor, making it a great place to come and practice!
Join us at our language school for an English Language Conversation Holiday – we regularly practice it.
As a traveller, it can be very hard to strike up conversations with strangers.
Being good at small talk gets your foot in the door!
Read on for 8 More Small Talk Tips
Let’s Talk!
Interested in a Blue Noun English Coaching Holiday in Scotland?
You’ll get to see our hub – and tell me (Ruth) 3 things you’d like to see/do when you are here!
Small Talk Tips
Be Clear on What Small Talk is Doing
The best way to get better at small talk is to understand WHY we use small talk.
We are being friendly, we are leaning into the conversation gently, testing the water to see how you respond.
Conversations that begin with small talk are not continuously superficial, we are leading you from base to base of increasingly less safe subjects.
Small talk gives you a base (like in cricket) to stay safe and not go further (should you not want to).
Chat About the Weather
Ask how it is, complain about it, complain about the season. Just say ‘how about the weather.’
British people live to talk about the weather.
It unites us, it rarely divides us, it is always changing and it affects our moods.
There’s so much good small talk here!
Get a Dog
In small-town Scotland, walking with a dog (especially a cute one) gets you talking with half the town.
Expect conversations to begin on canine topics but spiral off in all kinds of directions.
If you have a dog, you are automatically on second base friendship terms with any strangers.
Ask about Journeys, Commutes, Traffic
Here in the UK, we LOVE a moan about roads, potholes, traffic or planes getting delayed.
We are more than happy to talk on this subject (NB: if the trains run on time in your country, be careful not to sound like you are gloating).
Zoom | Don't Mention Zoom Backgrounds
Often people share very interesting backgrounds in their online space.
We may want to ask about the artworks behind them, the mug they are using, and the background noises – but Zoom etiquette says not to.
(Some people feel that it is as if a stranger has knocked on the door and asked where they bought the wallpaper they can see through the window.)
Certainly, ask away when you have made friends, but not as strangers. Avoid it as small talk.
(Likewise, if they show up in PJs, don’t mention it).
No Long Answers to 'How Are You?'
Most of the time if we ask ‘How are you,’ it is true we do expect the reply ‘fine‘ or ‘ok, thanks’.
It’s ok not to be fine, it’s just we need to not be trapped by problems.
We use ‘How are you,’ like ‘hello’ (as a warm greeting in the morning).
So if you have had a bad morning, a headache etc. yes, do say so! But don’t launch into a long description when we are rushing into our day.
If you want to share – say ‘not good, I can tell you later,’ or ‘I’m having a such a bad day.’ If the person has time, they will invite you to share more.
It’s not an insincere – the person will care, we just don’t tend to use this question as a question.
And in the world of business, our time is not our own. Not being able to talk more isn’t not wanting to talk.
Small Talk Tips to Learn English with British Culture
Hopefully, you know by now that these tips are a fun look at this part of British culture and the English language.
This blog is a light-hearted look at a skill which will help you communicate.
Of course, you should show up as yourself.
You shouldn’t aim to be anyone else in a new language, but for some people, being aware of and responsive to the layers of culture around you will make this easier.
Find Your True Voice
Small talk may seem like inconsequential chatter – pink marshmallows in a fruit bowl otherwise filled with exotic, rich, and wondrous flavours.
Yes, it can lack depth and character – but it is not trivial because its purpose or relaxing into conversation is important in a non-direct culture.
Small talk is not the waste of time it can seem to those outside British culture: it is your way into conversations in the UK.
My best tip is to listen to UK TV & Radio and hear examples of small talk in context. Actively practice it, so it flows when you need it to.
Write them down. They will come in handy!
Small talk doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself!
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